Funderemployment

Ben actually coined that word. I think it should go in the dictionary, don't you?

Anyway, that's our status now. Underemployed. We've tried to make it fun. But let me tell you a little secret: It's not really fun.

It's not that we are starving. Or homeless. Or even close to being so. We aren't rich, but we have scraped together a decent emergency fund and food storage over the past four years. We don't have debt. We wear clothes that probably should have been thrown away years ago (yes, Mom, I'm speaking of the sports bra I wore on my mission that I still wear that grows mold and no longer has an elastic). We drive one old car that has a habit of breaking down in my mom's driveway in Utah. We are ok financially for a bit. So that's good.

The not-so-fun part is the stress. The stress of wondering what will happen in the next few months if we are still underemployed. The stress of applying for jobs that aren't necessarily in Phoenix, meaning we might move at some point soon. The stress of evaluating the wisdom of spending any money on anything. The stress of knowing that we have thousands of dollars of hospital bills that are going to start rolling into our mailbox any day now.

The funny thing is that we have a lot of hope. We have hope that this layoff is forcing us to change the course of our lives, and that's actually kind of exciting. Scary, but exciting. Is it funny to feel like a lot of good is going to come from this layoff? That maybe this was the push we needed to do something amazing that we wouldn't otherwise do? Do you feel jealous now that you aren't being laid off?

In all seriousness, sometimes I think we need to be reminded that Heavenly Father is there and that He cares about us. Sometimes we need to be reminded of how very dependent we are on His care. There is nothing like a good old fashioned trial that opens up my eyes so I can see how very blessed we are. I mean, we have a beautiful house. We live in a beautiful place. We are all basically healthy.  We have amazing kids that make us happy, even when they wake us up multiple times during the night. Ben and I love each other maybe more now than ever.

I have again been humbled by the kind service of others on our behalf. As soon as people found out that Ben had been laid off we got cookies on our doorstep and a meal brought in a few days later. It's amazing and humbling to me to see how loving and thoughtful people are. It makes me want to do better, to serve more, to love more, to be more mindful of what others are going through and to help them. We have been recipients of so much loving service and prayers lately. Thank you, and know that they make a difference to us. Know that you change us as you serve us. It's good to have our rough edges polished smooth once in awhile.

Lately I have read and reread 3 Nephi 13:25-34. It's the part about clothing the lilies and all that. "Therefore take no thought, saying, What shall we eat? or, What shall we drink? or, Wherewithal shall we be clothed? For your Heavenly Father knoweth that ye have need of all these things." What a comfort!

Let me just leave you with some pictures and a funny story. We got some family pictures taken a few weeks ago that turned into a fiasco. A guy in our ward was doing them for cheap, but we had to drive a little ways to get to the park to meet up with him. Anyway, it was early afternoon and Lily was tired and upset. Tommy fell asleep on the way there and was really mad we woke him up. We got a couple of shots of our whole family, and then he wanted to do some of the two kids. Well, that was fine until Lily fell off the bench and smacked her head on the sidewalk while I was supposed to be making sure that didn't happen. So then she screamed and a big bruise immediately formed. Our photographer was more than a little freaked out. We fumbled through a few more pictures but none of them were very good. It just wasn't a good day for our family. Oh well, at least they were cheap!

I promise our kids smile, just not this day!

This is post-falling-of-the-bench.  What a trooper.  You can see the bruise above her left eye.

This one's not actually too bad.  I think Ben was behind the photographer doing some kind of slapstick comedy routine to force that tiny smile out of Tommy.

Mugshot anyone?