We were planning a homebirth, and it's a good thing we were prepared for just that. A very good thing.
I went to bed on December 7 feeling the same as I had felt every other evening for the past several weeks. Big. Pregnant. Uncomfortable. Discouraged that I was still big, pregnant, and uncomfortable. I had no idea that our baby would be coming in just a few hours.
At about 12:45 am I woke up feeling cramps in my lower abdomen. I tried to roll over and ignore them, but finally decided to get up and move around a bit. My first thought was that I had gas. It didn't feel like labor at all. I got up, checked on the kids, went potty, and felt better enough that I climbed back into bed to try to go back to sleep.
After a few minutes I realized that the cramps were coming in waves about every 3 minutes. After breathing deeply through 4 or 5 of these waves I shook Ben gently and told him that maybe, just maybe, I was having contractions. He rolled over, sleepily put his arm around me and said, "I'm right here with you." In his words he explained later, "We were six days overdue and we'd had a couple of times where we thought the Big Day was here. I didn't think much of it at first."
We breathed through one contraction together and then he asked how far apart they were coming. I told him about every 3 minutes. That woke him right up! He jumped out of bed and said, "We better call the midwives then!" I still wasn't convinced that I was in real labor or that we were close enough to having a baby to call the midwives. Reluctantly, I slid out of bed and did a few things, just in case this was the real deal.
I brushed my teeth, put my hair up, and closed the door to the kids' room, pausing as needed to breathe through the "cramps" I was having. I got really cold and started shaking. As I threw on my robe I told Ben that I was probably just shaking because I was nervous.
We walked out to the front room together shortly after 1:00 am. Ben had already paged the midwives and was waiting for a call back. I knelt down against our yoga ball while Ben sat on the couch. We turned the Christmas tree lights on. We held hands and sat quietly together in the stillness of the morning.
As another contraction came on I squeezed Ben's hands and breathed deeply. Our midwife, Sharon, called to assess the situation. Ben reported that I was still having contractions about every 2-3 minutes and that they were lasting 45-60 seconds. Sharon asked me if I felt like they should come over right now or if I wanted to wait and see how things progressed. Honestly, I still wasn't convinced that I was in real labor. She said that she would get up and get dressed and ready and then give us a call back in 10-15 minutes to see how we were doing.
It was about 1:15 am.
I breathed through another contraction or two kneeling against the yoga ball. I was a little uncomfortable kneeling so I thought maybe I would sit on top of the ball and see how that went.
Sitting up changed everything.
As another contraction came on it didn't just feel like a wave. It was a tsunami that threatened to overwhelm my entire soul.
Breathing through that one was different. It was hard work. It was labored. I held Ben's hand and yelled, "Ow, ow, ow. HONEY!!" I could feel my body start to bear down. I instantly got hot and sweaty and threw off my cushy robe. When it was over Ben grabbed his phone and said, "I'm calling Sharon back!"
Can you believe that even at this point I still kind of rolled my eyes and thought it unnecessary to call the midwives again? I didn't want to bother them more than we already had. Am I glad for a proactive husband who could see things as they really were!
He called Sharon back and told her that I had a contraction that "almost made me want to push". She left her house immediately.
It was just after 1:20 am.
I knew that if the contractions were going to be like the last one I needed to do something different. I was worried that I might be in for a very long night of very painful contractions. I asked Ben to fill up our bathtub and I waddled as fast as I could back to the bathroom to hop in. I never made it.
Once I got to the bathroom another contraction hit. I knelt against a chair and could feel the urge to push overwhelm me. As I breathed I slowly groaned to Ben, "PUSH!" He was on the phone with Sharon, who was frantically trying to find street parking. When he heard me say, "Push," he cried, "NO! Don't push, don't push!! Sharon's coming!" I couldn't help it. The baby wanted to come.
One of Ben's Facebook friends put it accurately when she said, "Not pushing when your labor has progressed to that point is like not vomiting when your stomach starts heaving to vomit." This is the first delivery out of my three where I felt that urge to push and she is right. It's not an urge you can really control or stop.
I managed not to push her out in the bathroom, but just barely. Once I could stand up I turned off the bath water and yelled at Ben to lay out our birthing blanket. (This was an old quilt with industrial plastic tacked onto one side. It saved our sheets, blankets, and pillows from getting destroyed.) As he threw the blanket across our bed he said, "Sharon says lie on your left side and that will slow things down." Before he had even rolled out the entire blanket I jumped onto it on my left side and prepared for another contraction.
Mad props to my amazing husband, Ben, here. I can't imagine the adrenaline rush he was on as he prepared for the possibility of catching his daughter unassisted.
Another contraction came and I couldn't hold it back anymore. The baby was coming whether or not a trained professional was there to catch her. I pushed and could feel her move down.
Sharon still wasn't there.
On the next contraction I pushed again, this time with such ferocity that it made the amniotic sac explode. Ben has been duly traumatized by that sight. :)
It was about 1:38 am.
I asked if he could see her head yet and he said no. I felt like it was probably coming on the next push.
Sharon called from the front door of our secure building. Ben ran out to let her inside. I had another contraction and started pushing. As they ran down the hall of our building I screamed, "SHE'S COMING! SHE'S COMING!"
Ben and then Sharon ran in. Another contraction hit and this time the baby was crowning.
The midwife assistant called from the front door. Ben ran to let her in. She made it just in time to watch the baby's head come out.
It was 1:44 am.
The next contraction was intense. I remember Sharon saying, "Let your body do the work." I pushed and I screamed and I could feel her head come out. I saw in my mind the image of a ring of fire. I kept pushing through the pain because I didn't want that ring of fire to last any longer than it already had.
After 3 minutes passed without another contraction Sharon asked me to roll over onto all fours. I heard Ben say, "The cord is not wrapped around her neck, Honey. She's fine." Another contraction didn't come. She asked me to push on my own. I started to get worried. I heard the intensity in her voice: "Come on, Crystal, PUSH!"
I pushed. Between pushes I asked if the baby was OK. I didn't hear any crying. Sharon said the baby was fine, that she was moving her mouth, which was a good sign. I could hear in Sharon's voice that it was critical to get her out immediately, though.
I buried my head in the bed and pushed with all I had. I could feel tugging and I could sense the urgency. Then all of a sudden I felt the pressure release and it was over.
I looked down to see a giant healthy baby girl lying on my bed. I heard her open her mouth and cry. Sharon said, "Look, Crystal, there's your baby!"
I looked at Ben. He was crying and saying, "Oh my goodness, there she is!"
I wiped the sweat from my forehead, threw off my shirt and grabbed her. Sharon helped me roll over and hold her.
We named her Anna Clara. She was 10 lbs 4 oz.
It was 1:48 am.
At 1:52 am our second midwife, Amy Jo, ran in.
| "When is she going to get big?" |
They gave me a shot of pitocin to stop the bleeding and put some pitocin in my IV.
I held my little girl and lay back musing on the events of the past hour. Here I was holding my baby. Just over an hour previous she had been inside of me. It was surreal.
I remember a few minutes after she was born Ben asked, "Are we sure she's a girl? Did anyone check?" We hadn't. In all the excitement and the urgency to get an IV placed we had forgotten to even look.
Tommy came out of his room at 2:00 am. He heard me pushing and thought I was playing a trick. He came into my room to meet his little sister and then stayed up and played LEGO in the front room the rest of the night. He stayed up all day long and finally crashed at 5:00 pm that night.
Lily wandered into our room with her big blue eyes open wide around 7:00 am. She didn't say a word. The midwives were still there. She took in the whole scene of the baby and me in bed and the midwives and just sat with Ben to process it all.
My blood pressure held steady and I actually felt great right after the delivery. Much better than I had the previous two times. I didn't get light headed or nauseous. I felt like I could get up and dance.
I couldn't, of course. It still took a couple of hours before I could stand without fainting right away.
My recovery has been amazing compared to my other postpartum recoveries. I tore just enough to warrant one small stitch. The difference between one stitch and recovering from a large tear is delightful.
Over the past two days we have been bathed in so much love and support. We haven't had to worry about making food or taking care of our older kids. Others have done that so that we can rest and take care of Clara.
Clara is a delightful little girl. She eats well and often and sleeps as long as she is either nursing or being held. She has a head full of black hair and soft red skin. Her lungs are loud and powerful. She is perfectly healthy.
The kids love her. They play with her in the morning and hold her at night. Tommy asked when she will learn to smile. Lily asked when she will learn to walk and talk. They are naturals at nurturing their new baby sister.
Here are some links to read Tommy's birth story and Lily's birth story. They are beautiful as well, though less dramatic than Clara's story.
2 comments:
Beautiful! Absolutely beautiful and loving. I'm most impressed by your kind and mild words with Ben during such pain! Thank you so much for sharing.
I couldn't help but cry during this. You are a beautiful writer, and I felt I was right there with you. I can relate to so much of this so well. I am so amazed by you and Ben, and the way that you both handled things in these circumstances. Speaks volumes as to the love and the admiration that you have for each other.
Welcome to the world, Clara!
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