Lily's Birth Story, Part III: Postpartum Exultation

To read Part I, go here.  To read Part II, go here.

They say it takes a village to raise a child.  I have learned over the last three weeks what that really means, at least to me right now.  It's less that it takes everyone in the village to be involved in that child's life and more that it takes the village to support the mother so that she can effectively care for and teach her child.  I have had a village helping me these last three weeks as I have stepped into my new role as Mother of Two.

I have been extremely blessed to have really great pregnancies.  I feel healthy and strong throughout the pregnancy, enough so that I was frequenting the gym up until the week before Lily was born.  However, I have had two really hard deliveries that have made the postpartum period the most difficult "trimester" of my birth year.  However, this time around has actually been a time of intense joy and deep gratitude, rather than the rocky and emotionally unstable postpartum months I experienced after I had Tommy.  I attribute this joy primarily to the amazing people who have supported me and family during this time.

First, thanks my birthing team and the extraordinary network of midwives and doulas out there who give such meaningful and selfless service.  This is a group of women who greet strangers and friends alike with a warm hug.  Not only did my midwife stay the entire night after Lily was born, but she also came back Christmas night with three others to stitch up my tear, help me shower, and make sure we were generally doing well.  Kristy even did another batch of laundry while they were here that night.  We all chatted and joked and laughed.  It was really fun to see them all again.  Karen and Kristy came back four days later to check on me and Lily again.  I have received several Facebook messages from them asking how things are going.  I have not only felt well-cared for, I have also felt loved by these women.

A few days after Lily was born I started to feel some of the Baby Blues creep in.  I started to feel overwhelmed and hopeless and anxious.  I cried as I told Ben, and as I was doing so, my postpartum doula called.  Her name is Erin.  She asked if she could come over the next day to help out for four hours.  I was overwhelmed with her timing and with the hope that things were going to get better.  I was crying so much I had to hand the phone to Ben so he could tell her when to come.  She did come the next day and completely lightened my load.  We talked for a little while and she was able to listen and empathize with my feelings.  Then she got to work.  Our house was a disaster by this point.  We had piles of dirty laundry, stacks of dirty dishes, and stuff just everywhere.  Between the Christmas mess and having a baby and Ben being sick, the house really suffered.  But in just a few short hours Erin completely cleaned the whole downstairs, allowed me some one-on-one time with Tommy, showed me some stretches that would help me feel a little better after being confined in bed, made us lunch, and showed me some nursing techniques that would help me nurse and sleep at the same time so I wasn't so sleep-deprived.  She not only gave me hope that we would survive, she also made me feel loved and empowered.

Erin came back a couple weeks after Lily's birth and worked her magic again.  She cleaned and organized Lily's room, cleaned up the downstairs, did my grocery shopping, made dinner, and chatted about how the transition was going.  I highly recommend that every new mother get a postpartum doula to come a few times to help out, no matter how or where they give birth.  Having that extra helping hand made a huge difference to me.

I will do a homebirth as long as it means I can have such excellent postpartum care from such nurturing women.

Next, thank you to our friends who have helped with caring for Tommy and bringing in meals.  We had one family take Tommy the day after Lily was born.  Remember, that was Christmas day.  They were happy to take him and include him in their family party.  It meant so much to me.  We had another family that took him all day the next day, too.  Ben had been up Christmas night with a fever and chills, I still couldn't get up out of bed on my own, and we really wondered how we were going to care for Tommy, Lily, and ourselves under the circumstances.  Luckily we didn't have to worry about Tommy as our kind friends entertained him all day.  We have amazing friends who have brought in meals and have taken Tommy to the zoo and to the park so that I could get some extra rest.  It is very humbling to be the recipient of such thoughtful service.

Thank you also to all those who have sent us gifts for Lily.  I love to see her swaddled in a blanket that another loving mother made for her.  I love to dress her in clothes and put bows on her head that I know others thoughtfully bought for her.  We appreciate the generosity and thoughtfulness of our friends, neighbors, and family.  Thank you to those as well who have emailed, blogged, texted, or Facebooked congratulations and well wishes to our family.  It energizes me to read the positive comments of others.  So thank you.

Next, a gigantic thank you to my mom who spent a week with us after Lily was born.  We put her primarily on Tommy duty.  She took him to the park every day she was here, took him to McDonald's, and played with him at home.  She helped with shopping and cooking and cleaning.  It was so nice to have someone else here so that I could get some extra rest when Lily was sleeping.  We love you, Mom, and miss you so much.  Tommy especially misses his best buddy.

I especially want to thank my husband for everything he has done for me, but he is going to get his very own post:)

The transition from having one child to having two has been much smoother than I expected it to be, thanks in large part to the village that has rallied to help us raise our children.  It also helps that Lily is such a calm and chill baby.  She eats well and sleeps well and doesn't poop very much.  I couldn't ask for anything more than that.