Moving Again!

Well, the word is out. We are moving! Call us crazy (many have), but we are downsizing to a 750 sq. ft. apartment in the city. THE CITY! Who moves their two kids to the city? Well, we do.

Ben has started an awesome little blog about downsizing. You should check it out. I love his writing style, don't you? It should be an adventure. We have about three weeks to sell/donate/throw away the majority of our stuff. This place literally has two bedrooms, each with a closet, a bathroom with a little cupboard, one small closet in the kitchen area, and a living area. We don't have that much room for stuff. The good news is we really don't need that much stuff.

When I served my mission I was allowed one small suitcase weighing less than 50 pounds. I left with my scriptures, my clothes, and a few toiletries in there. I returned with the same suitcase filled mostly with souvenirs. If I can do that, I'm pretty sure we can get rid of our excess to make this move a success.

It's scary, though. Not the living in the city part. That part is actually awesome. We are moving to one of the most Portland neighborhoods in Portland. We'll be walking distance away from the Waffle Window (yes, please), the tool/kitchen/toy share, Sunnyside Piazza, and at least two different Farmer's Markets. We'll be surrounded by vibrant parks, community gardens, close to the library, close to the church, and have easy access to public transit that can literally get us anywhere. Ben will have an easy 20-minute bike ride to work. It's going to be great for us.

We'll miss our friends in Aloha for sure. I wish Ben's work was closer so that we could stay out here, but right now he sees the kids very little and we want to change that. I think just about everyone we know has offered us a ride, offered us their car, picked something up for us at the store, or shuttled us around. Them's good peeps. It kills me a little to move Tommy away from his friends again.

I am going to miss our backyard terribly. When we bought our house in Arizona all I cared about was four bedrooms and a big backyard. We got that, and it was my dream home for that reason. I don't really know what it will be like to have kids without being able to shoo them outside for a few minutes on their own. It kind of breaks my heart a little to sell the picnic table and the wading pools we have used so well.

It's kind of scary to get rid of stuff. In our culture we attach so much meaning and identity to the things we have. We feel like our stuff is not just an outward symbol of something inside of us, but that it is actually part of us. I don't know why I have such an emotional reaction to getting rid of the kids' baby clothes. They are just clothes. I have pictures of my kids in those clothes, but I am not getting any more use out of them for now. So why is it hard to let go? I don't know. It's amazing how emotional parting with things can be.

Moving is always scary and a bummer and exciting all at the same time. Many people have asked me why this particular apartment, why this particular neighborhood. There were larger duplexes available for the same price. So why this one? The truth is, I don't know. I drove through this particular neighborhood on my way to see a couple of other properties and I just knew that was the neighborhood for us. It just felt good. So I narrowed our search to that neighborhood and this apartment is what I found.

Neither Ben nor I have ever lived in the city before. We are lifelong suburbanites. This is entirely new ground for us. I'm really excited to discover a new way of life among this vibrant community.

I want to end by recounting some advice I received from my last stake president at BYU, James Kearl. He is one of the most intelligent and intimidating people I have ever met. When he talked, I listened. He gave a talk toward the end of my BYU career that changed my life. I don't remember specific quotes, but the essence of his talk was this: Make interesting decisions in your life. Live the life you want. Don't wait for life to just happen to you. Go out and do interesting things with dynamic people and make your life extraordinary. Now, I know this isn't earth-shattering advice, but it's what I needed to hear at the time and I still think back on it as a mantra for the decisions I make in my life.

I chose to marry Ben because I knew we would have an interesting life together. Sometimes I have followed him kicking and screaming into new territory, but it has always turned out amazing and beautiful. We have hopes and dreams and goals that don't include bringing unnecessary baggage along with us, physical or emotional. We have dreams for our children of creating their own livelihoods, their own interesting lives out of the life we provide for them. We aren't happy unless we are constantly creating and endlessly working on something new and different. We dream of changing the world and that's not going to happen if we don't put ourselves out in it and swim upstream a little.

Last week as I was praying and pondering this decision, whether or not to actually sign on the dotted line for this apartment, it was a struggle. So many reasons to stay in Aloha. So many reasons to keep looking for something else. So many reasons to take the leap. As I was preparing dinner one evening President Kearl's advice came back ringing in my ears and I knew what we were supposed to do. Take that leap, make an interesting choice, do something different. So that's why we are moving. And as scary as it is to let go of that which is familiar, it's exhilarating to plunge into this new life we are are shaping for ourselves.