January 2017

January..

We started the month out with two major winter storms, one week after the other. The first ice storm coated the entire city in a lovely layer of ice that was accompanied by such fierce wind that we had ice in the cracks of our windows and doors. As it melted a few days later it leaked into the house.

The next snow storm effectively shut down Portland for a solid week. We received about a foot of snow, record-setting for these parts. I know that my friends and family in the Rockies laugh in the face of 12 inches of snow, but when you don't have snow plows, rock salt, snow shovels, or snow tires, it can be disastrous. Pair that with the heavy winds that knocked down trees and ripped apart rooftops all over the city and you have a pretty crazy winter storm. Luckily, we got to hunker down inside, play in the snow, and enjoy lots of hot chocolate and reading around the fire.

Clara did a lot of standing at the window and watching the kids play in the snow.

In January Lily lost her first two teeth! They both came out within a few days of each other and neither of them stayed loose for very long before falling out. The Tooth Fairy made a visit, much to Lily's delight. As she placed her first tooth under her pillow she said, "If the tooth is gone in the morning, I'll know the Tooth Fairy is real."

The kids played outside in the snow quite a bit. Even as it started to melt they were able to build "Mount St. Helen's". They spent hours together working on their mountain volcano and even made a secret entrance into it on the side.

Once the snow melted we met our homeschool group at Oak Bottom for a beautiful day outside. It was still cold, but it was so wonderful to be able to enjoy something other than our own home for awhile.

The kids found a huge puddle that was frozen ice on the bottom with a layer of water on the top from rainfall. They skated out to the center and back again several times until, of course, Tommy fell in. That was pretty cold!

Clara has a great time being outside, too. She can go anywhere in her rain suit and boots!

The day after Inauguration Day, we joined nearly 100,000 resisters at the Women's March in Portland. It was raining the entire time, but that didn't stop us. It was the first time I have felt hope since the election last year. It was empowering and inspiring to be surrounded by strong women and men of all ages during that march. This was the first day of our new civic-minded, politically-active, socially-aware life as a family.

Oh yeah! And Clara started walking in January! She has been cruising for several months now, but she finally got the hang of standing up and taking a few steps on her own. P.S. Our lives are now over :)

Lily finally got to perform The Nutcracker after it was cancelled twice due to snow and ice. She performed three different dances and did such a lovely job.

Here are a few snapshots of our daily chaos. Clara loves emptying out cupboards, trash, backpacks, and boxes. Then she just leaves the mess for us to clean up, that naughty baby :)

Helping the Homeless

I have never seen a person's eyes light up the way his did at the word "socks".

For the past 2 1/2 years we have lived in close-in Portland. Our south-facing windows open up to one of the main drags. Our neighbors are both the millionaires and the destitute.

For the past 2 1/2 years we have lived among the homeless, yet our walls and our roof set us apart as much as if we lived in a parallel dimension. I have seen them forage through trash, sleep in doorways, shiver under wet trees, emerge from dumpsters, bathe in fountains, and relieve themselves on the roadside.

And yet none of this disgusts me.

It makes me feel completely and utterly heartbroken and GUILTY.

Guilty that I have a house and food to eat and a family and a church who would never let me go without a house or food to eat. Guilty that I was born into a white middle class family with college-educated parents. Guilty that by dumb luck I was born into circumstances that make a roof over my head and food on my table automatic.

There are some people who don't have that privilege. They don't have the privilege of staying dry in the rain. They don't get the privilege of eating three meals a day (or any meals a day) or wearing clean clothes. Some people are consigned to a fate of living under a bridge, of begging others for their basic needs.

These people are shunned and hated. The "haves" are so disgusted by these dirty, hungry people that they say, "They brought it upon themselves. If they just did [insert judgemental command here] they wouldn't be homeless." To those who think that a man chooses to live in the dirt, chooses to sleep in a wet sleeping bag, chooses to go without the daily necessities you and I take for granted, I would ask one question:

"Have you ever talked to a homeless person?"

Have you ever put your judgements aside and listened to him? Really listened to his story? Because if you have, I guarantee that you know that nobody chooses to live like a dog on the streets.

Personally, I don't care how they got there. I just care about how we can help them.

There is a man I have known for 2 1/2 years now. He lives underneath the bridge by my gym. He is mentally and physically ill. He carries around a pillow because he can only take 3-4 steps at a time before he needs to sit on the ground and rest. And as I watch him walk and rest and walk and rest the only thought running through my head is, "We have failed him."

We have failed him. And so many others like him.

I don't have large scale solutions. But I know that these people are people. They are human, just like you and me. The biggest disservice I can give to them is to ignore them. To bottle up my guilt and my disgust and let them fade into the background. To tell myself they deserve to live like that and to kid myself that I did anything to deserve what I have.

Tonight my family bought 10 pizzas, soda, and apples, and took them to a camp of homeless people at our neighborhood park. They were thrilled, to say the least. We were met with many "thank yous", "God bless yous", "God loves yous", and even one, "I hope you have many more children!" They were lovely people. They called their friends over to share pizza. They smiled and they laughed.

Since we are moving we had bags of socks, shirts, and pants to give away. They received the bags of our old stuff like it was Christmas.

When I was younger I always got this really warm fuzzy feeling when I helped someone. I don't get that anymore. Sure, I feel good that we were able to deliver some necessities to these people, but I don't kid myself into thinking that I am solving their problems. Tonight, as I sit in my soft bed with my air conditioner running, my door safely locked in front, those men and women are still homeless. They are still sleeping on the street. They are uncomfortable. They are dirty. And I am powerless to fix that.

The gift I CAN give these people is to see them. To see them as people, even as my brothers and sisters. To see them as deserving of being seen. To teach my children to do the same. To lobby for change in our city so that these people have their basic needs met.

As we drove to the park tonight to deliver pizza I told my children that providing a meal is not going to fix the problems these homeless people face. But letting them know that someone cares, that someone sees them, that someone may even love them? Well, that may just help a bit. So that's what we'll do.

July 2016

We had a busy July this year! Both kids did camps (gymnastics, skateboarding, and bouldering) while Clara and I missed them at home. We spent plenty of time enjoying Portland parks, playing with friends, enjoying free shows at the library, discovering the hat store, and taking a trapeze class. Here are the highlights:

Latourell Falls

Whelp, we finally bought a car! More about that later. After 3 1/2 years of living car free it has been quite the adjustment, but it was time. It's a nice shiny used minivan. The kids love that it has a DVD player in it so they can watch a show on longer trips. I love the freedom that we have now, even though I am having some surprising withdrawals from riding the bus daily. I feel much more disconnected from the community now that we simply drive by it. I'm sure we'll find our balance.

The first weekend we had the minivan we celebrated by driving out to the Columbia River Gorge and hiking up to Latourell Falls. Now we can be some of those Oregonians who constantly post pictures of different waterfalls and secret swimming spots!

The hike was a 2 1/2 mile loop. The kids are awesome hikers and loved both the lower falls and the upper falls. I was feeling a bit sick, but carried Clara the whole way while Ben carried the food and supplies. It turns out I actually had Strep Throat so I felt totally vindicated for feeling achy and tired afterward.

Family Pics 2016

Since we became a family of 5 last December we've had a tough time getting a decent family picture. I guess when you have 3 small children and 5 sets of eyes that need to be looking in the same direction at the same time it gets tricky. Here are our attempts at family pictures so far this year. The last ones were fantastic of the kids. They were taken by our friend, Steve.

Notice how Tommy's hair gets longer and more curly each month :) We love the curls!

February 2016, Clara's blessing day

April 2016. I thought Clara was especially cute in this one.

April 2016

May 2016

May 2016

May Beach Day

It's no secret that the past few months have been very difficult for our family, especially for me. That's just how it goes with a new baby. Sleepless nights, constant nursing, anxiety, insomnia, and isolation are only a few things that I've been dealing with. The warm weather and sunshine have been a very welcome and needed change in my life.

One night I was having a particularly difficult time getting to sleep (even though I was exhausted). I lay awake thinking about what would make me feel better. I decided a trip to the beach would be just the ticket. And it was.

On Mother's Day weekend we rented a car and got out of town for a few hours. We just drove up to Vancouver and played on a beach along the Columbia River. It's one of our favorite places to go, and actually much more enjoyable than the Oregon Coast. (In our experience, anyway.)

We ate lunch - Lunchables somehow have become our beach food tradition - and played in the water. The weather was perfect. Warm, but not too hot. Sunny the whole day. Clara was amazing. We made a little tent for her to keep her shielded from the sun. She sat happily and played with toys while the big kids played in the water. I dipped Clara's toes in the water and she wasn't too excited about that! It was ice cold.

Cold water didn't stop the big kids from wading waist deep into the river. The played fetch with sticks and tried to build a raft out of logs. They of course dug a big hole and filled it with water. We had a lovely day together.

A day at the beach is just what this mama needed to feel full and happy. I love watching my kids play outside and have fun together. I love watching them get SO excited about big waves coming in. And I love to watch them happily collapse into bed after a day full of sunshine, fun, and exercise.

Blessed Spring

This year I have absolutely RELISHED springtime. The flowers seem brighter and more beautiful this year than in years past. I guess that's how it feels after an especially long, wet, and gray winter.

On one of the first really nice days this spring we went to the waterfront and had a picnic lunch. I rode the bus with Clara and met Ben and the older kids there, who arrived on bicycle. Tommy biked about 10 miles that day. He was absolutely exhausted, but happy as a clam! It was so great to get out and enjoy Portland again. It was right after St. Patrick's Day. We saw a few different groups of people all dressed in funny green outfits running along the path. I have no idea what they were doing (it appeared to be some kind of race), but I just laughed and felt so happy to embrace the uniqueness of my fellow Portlanders.

I miss being able to ride my bike with the kids (since Clara can't ride until she is 10 months old or so), but I have loved taking simple walks around our neighborhood. We have explored every street and know exactly where to find the best iris, rhododendrons, daffodils, tulips, roses, and azaleas. We know where the cherry tress and the dogwoods are. We have even noticed the blossoms on the chestnut trees this year. My kids know where to find the best mint and rosemary bushes in case they want a little snack. I don't know much about plants, but it has been delightful this year sharing what I do know with my kids.

The cherry blossoms were just exquisite this year. They bloomed full and pink and bright. Then it got windy one day and they blanketed everything in a terrific whirlwind of pink snow.

Since Clara sleeps a lot during the day it has been difficult to get outside as much as we used to. She only lasts a couple of hours between naps. We have adjusted and try to go for a walk to the park in the morning before school starts or a walk between naps. Sometimes after her afternoon nap we pack up and run errands or go to the park. We stay a lot closer to home now than we did before she was born, but that's OK. It's nice to get to know our neighborhood so well and really enjoy it before we move.

Several of our neighbors have these terrific tree swings. Rope swings and little libraries in their front yard. We always take advantage of them as we walk.

One afternoon I felt like we got caught in an episode of Portlandia. The kids and I were walking around, buckets in hand, gathering flowers, sticks, and rocks. Three twenty-somethings dressed in railroad engineer overalls approached us and explained that they were part of a new art institute on Hawthorne. They said they were gathering samples from the neighborhood for the art display. I didn't understand what they were talking about. They asked Tommy what his favorite thing about the neighborhood is and after some hesitation he said, "The blossoms." They handed him a little plastic baggie and asked if he would mind gathering some blossoms to put on display at their art space. He gathered a few leaves, twigs, and pulled some grass. Lily gathered a few handfuls of blossoms for her baggie. They labeled the bags "Tommy's Nature Collection" and "Blossoms Gathered By Lily". Then they walked off. As we turned down another street I saw them rummaging through a box of junk someone left on the corner. (That's how people in Portland get rid of their stuff. Apparently walking it to the Goodwill is just too far.)

Later that same day I just happened to be on Hawthorne with my friend, Michelle, and we stopped in the art institute to see what it was all about. It's a neighborhood bar founded by artists with a dedicated art space. They were excited to see me again and showed me where they had already displayed the kids' art samples. They showed me around the space and pointed out all the different samples they had gathered from the neighborhood: some old speakers, a board from someone's fence, a block of chipped cement, some old cassette tapes, several nature samples in baggies. Wow. Just wow. I have to admit that it was pretty cool, but it was just so Portland. SO PORTLAND.

We got to go to the Crystal Springs Rhododendron Garden when my mom was here in April. I'll write more about her trip next time. For now, just enjoy this picture of my little fairies in their magical garden. I wasn't kidding about the beautiful spring we have been enjoying this year.

Oh yeah, in other news, we are definitely moving this summer. Hopefully not far from where we are now and hopefully to a place with another bedroom and a backyard. We are doing fine in our apartment, but it will be nice to have a bedroom for the baby. Right now she sleeps in the living room at night, right alongside all three of our bikes. We have some plans cooking that we'll share when things become official!

Lastly, here is a video of Clara enjoying her first taste of fresh apple. She couldn't get enough! She will be so excited to eat solid food in another month or so.